bonehead moment #472 on Sunday evening

After a weekend of working after a week of working, come Sunday night I was burnt, my eyes were burning and I do recall crying because Rin wanted me to go with him to pick up some takeout food.

At the end of the night before crawling into bed I had a hot shower and brushed my teeth. I thought it was just the long weekend making something about my routine seem a little bizarre. I looked down at the hand that was brushing my teeth with vigor and intent, and noticed I was holding the one bright blue toothbrush in our collection of toothbrushes I had marked "Sophie." wouldn't mind if 'Sophie' was a friend, a sister, etc. But 'Sophie' is my eight month old golden retriever whose idea of 'good clean fun' is diving head first into a pile of dirty water in the gutter outside our house, and then chasing two foot lizards up the wall, tongue dragging on the ground the whole time. If only I hadn't been so intent on brushing her teeth about two hours earlier.

That was the end of my excitement for Sunday, as I spent the next half hour scrubbing every part of my mouth with alternating cycles of terrible Thai herbal toothpaste in powder form, some extra strength American stuff and mouthwash that could kill an army of germs. I have a feeling my daily 'red curry' at lunch isn't going to be as spicy today, as I can hardly taste anything.

Housewife

This silly language I find myself using more and more, while using my own less and less sure has some silly phrases.

With the expansion of my home business and taking on more and more at school, in compilation with a toddler golden retriever who sheds more than I ever thought she would, I have finally broken down and hired a maid. I remember living in Canada joking about silly foreigners who would come and live in a developing country and get drivers and maids and cooks. Sadly, the service is so cheap, it is almost impossible not to take advantage. The thing is, in Thai, a maid isn't called such a silly thing, she is called "housewife." So I now have my own housewife to do my laundry, vacuum my bed and clean up the fallen rose apples and mangoes in the front yard.

Luckily, she comes mostly when I am at work, because when she is home I feel so bad for making her do these things I could do myself if I just took things back a notch that I find I am serving her cold water and doing laundry before she can get to it.

It has been a big weight off my shoulders, as I spent so much of my time at home cleaning, and now, except for the occasional 'once around' with the vacuum, I can relax and read some books and sit and enjoy the fruit trees in my yard instead of cursing them for making more work for me.

If I had known this would be so nice, I would have gotten myself a 'housewife' a long time ago.

ps2 moves in to stay

A couple of weeks ago, Rin and I tragically decided to get a Play Station 2 and put it into our bedroom, as we have a hard time getting a hold of the cable in our house-the new housemate only likes to watch the BBC. So we bought it, not thinking much of it, thinking it would be time for us to hang out together doing something mindless. However. This might turn out to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

Last week I had two days off school. On Thursday, we went to Pantip, the computer supercenter of Bangkok and got 10 games. Then, on Friday, while Rin was putting the finishing touches on our new classroom in our house (boy things like installing air conditioners, putting together chairs, dusting, etc.), I spent about six solid hours playing a combination of 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory', 'Ice Age', 'Shrek 2', 'Chicken Little', and 'Madagascar.' When I was growing up my television was limited by my (smart) parents to one hour per week. This allowed m to find time to do other things that eventually, believe, improved my book smarts. But to have this freedom, being all grown up, I managed to spend about six straight hours, letting go of the controller only once to turn the fan off when it started to rain. I ran Chicken Little through his town and caught balloons and won prizes an solved puzzles. I helped Charlie find about 30 Oompa Loompas to help repair the candy making machines, and am currently stuck on the boat going to the 'wild' with one giant hippo, a giraffe, a lion and a zebra with an attitude.

I have to admit, I think about playing games far too much. I sit on the bike on the way to school and think of ways to try different tricks, ways to get over this and that obstacle. It is turning into a rather bad thing, and I am starting to wish I had my parents here to tell me that I can only play once the laundry is done and the dog is fed, and I have actually had dinner.

Back to school!

The doors are open, the students are coming, the parents are complaining, the little ones are crying, the older ones are naughty, yah, school is back in session.

But not just for me, as both other members in my household are back, Brian being one, and Rin being the other. Yes, Rin went back to school two weeks ago. He has two years of prep courses before he can go to university, and now every Sunday he wakes up, puts on his crisp white shirt and goes to school for "mature students."

Back to normal, to losing sleep, to the world of suits, to grading books and writing newsletters and making schedules and hanging out with the kids. Though it's a lot of work, I am happy to be back.

They're back!

After getting utterly frustrated with my business problems yesterday, Rin took me to get some dinner and at the little fruit stand at the end of our soi I found something that brightened me right up. The most delicious and beautiful fruit on earth is back in season, and I am content. Mangosteens are delicious, with wonderfully juicy sections of fruit inside, with their regal purple skin and cartoon like shape, I feel like a queen when I eat them. Which, we certainly did; Rin and I have just finished vegging watching E-True Hollywood story on a cracked out Kate Moss and polished off about a kilo and a half of mangosteens. What a lovely Sunday afternoon!

Eight Tidbits About Opening a Home Business in Thailand: An Anecdotal Lesson

1. For those moments when your home is in use of the business, you will lose your sanctuary, your 'homey' feeling as people pee on your toilet seat and call your dog 'stupid.'

2. You will, in the end, lose money, and more than you were expecting. Payments to be made on the first of the month are made somewhere towards the end, right when another payment is due, and the client will complain about how much of their money you are taking, and then take it to be their purgative to be late with the next month. I was supposed to collect over 40,000 baht today, and I collected 1,250 baht. The rest will 'pay soon.'

3. In the event that you should arrange a strict payment schedule, you will find your clients pulling fast ones, such as dropping their little ones off when you are in the shower, making it impossible to request the two month late payments, and then sending the babysitter to pick up the kids, an hour late, nonetheless, who happens to speak very little central Thai (which I can speak) and insists on conversing in Isarn dialect.

4. Upon opening a home business, it is essential that you open a restaurant as well. Thais cannot go two hours without eating no matter what snacks you buy for them. I found myself making 'mama' today (noodles) during the kids' breaks, as they are hungry and their parents didn't feed them. When the noodles were done, they wanted ice cream, water, juice and milk. The fee to the parents for raiding my kitchen? Nothing.

5. Opening a home business will only make complications with everyone you know, taking away free time, preventing friends from coming over, as they know you have business going on, and your home will soon become a lonely boring place for people to take advantage of you.

6. Do no favours. This will only dig you into a hole that will force you to give favours to everyone in your area, and they will all ask a little more, for a little less, and on their schedule. When first opening this home teaching business, I took on a family which has been nothing but misery since...Making 50 page books for the kids to help them pass their exams, and then getting hell when they only got 85%, as obviously, I didn't do my fair share. The mother has sat in on lessons, watched my teaching and commented on things like my handwriting and perfume, and then chews me out over the phone for wanting to cut down hours. That is what I have to look forward to in the morning.

7. Your spouse/partner will start to hate you. While the increase cash flow is nice, there is no reason to put this stress on a relationship. After all, they live in the same house too, right? When the dog throws up on the floor and he doesn't clean it up, you shout at him, the kids cover their mouths and start to gag, and you find yourself going to sneak a breather in the bathroom.

8. You will lose your sanity. Every waking moment you will be thinking about how to make things better, how to fix the above issues, and you will wake up to find yourself, essentially, in your office, never really getting away.

Something's gotta change. We are rewriting our contract with our clients at this moment.

I once heard of a couple, maybe even friends of my mum's, I can't quite remember, but who would take their holiday time and stay at home, turn off their phones and treat themselves to sleep ins, nice dinners and luxury homey things. (Now that I think of it, maybe this is just from the 'Beetlejuice' movie.) I used to think this sounded so boring, but now, I think it is the best possible thing to do.

Rin and I have just come back from a week down south, between his place in Chumphon and Koh Samui in the Gulf, and I have never been so tired in my life. I think work would be like going to a spa compared to dealing with public transportation, departure times, hotels by the beach and all the stresses that go with travelling in a foreign country...even if you live there.

After seeing one woman hit by a car and killed dead in the middle of the road right in front of me on our way down, to three motorbike crashes where all three people were unconscious on the side of the road, to hearing about a car crash that killed 12 people in the nborth of Thailand at the same time, we ironically bought a new motorbike, which I am terrified to get on now.

Pictures to follow in a well rested state.