disappointment
in a deep sleep i was woken up at 330am to a expressionless rin walking through our room, falling on to the bed, and proceeding to ignore my questions of how his night was. as he was not yet asleep, he heard what i was saying. after a night of talking with r about how things have been hard since he lost his job, i was really looking forward to going home and having him be there. but for three hours, i lay in bed half sleeping, half angry. the icing on the cake: ignore me when i talk to you.
when two people love each other, the other stuff should come more easily. but it is when respect is taken away that love becomes insufficient.
on my way to work today i was two inches from getting run over by a massive truck speeding down the road at 100km per hour. he was looking the other way.
amazing thailand, indeed.
when two people love each other, the other stuff should come more easily. but it is when respect is taken away that love becomes insufficient.
on my way to work today i was two inches from getting run over by a massive truck speeding down the road at 100km per hour. he was looking the other way.
amazing thailand, indeed.
"disappointment.
oh, you shouldn't have done,
you couldn't have done,
you wouldn't have done the things you did
then.
and we could've been happy.
what a piteous thing,
a hideous thing was tainted by the rest,
but it won't get any harder,
and I hope you'll find your way again.
and it won't get any higher,
and it all boils down to what you did,
then..."
-the cranberries
posted by isobella at 8:54 AM
4 Comments:
I enjoy your blog - hope things work out with rin, just want to say he probably is depressed and feeling low about losing his job - men often project what they THINK we must be feeling and if he feels bad about himself I bet he thinks you are disappointed in him and it is all embarasing - hence the late nights and his disappointment in himself can be directed negatively on you...hang in there, try not to get too mad at him
Alternately, on the other hand- after what you both have just been through, you really need to be there for each other if you love each other. You said it yourself... respect- no matter where you are in the world, it's important. Ignoring you and violent temper= I am worried.
P.S. I am superglad you didn't get hit by a truck.
hello anony
i am thinking quite seriously about not allowing anonymous comments anymore...i want to know who you are!
thank you for your words.
things are alright now. whole tsunami...got into an accident yesterday...things could be better. but we love each other, and maybe that is enough.
thanks again, and please let me know who you are!
Hey Heather, it's Krista, just wanted to say that I love reading you blog, the way you write is so descriptive and full of emotion, so although I don't know you too well, I still find your entries fascinating and addictive. At the moment I'm reading Paradise by Toni Morrison, and here is a line from it: 'Which was what love was:unmotivated respect.'I know this entry was from awhile ago, and the issue has probably already worked itself out, but if not, maybe ask yourself if you respect rin for treating you this way. Talking to you and answering your questions is just being civil, while to me respect is so much more. Are you in awe of him? Do you trust him? If not, don't worry. Just enjoy the time you have left together, but maybe try to keep your heart out of it.
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