inner peace
perhaps it is a lack of sleep. perhaps it is thinking too much. perhaps it is the weather, lack of rain. perhaps it is my dear friend who is back in town. perhaps it is the two men running a boy scouts camp outside singing a beautiful song in thai, while the students cry and realize it is ok. but right now, i feel inner peace. after all that has happened the past three weeks, and all that we have been through, and the buckets i have filled with tears, i now know i will be ok, and life does go on. i am still not quite where i was before, and i dont think i ever really will be. but for now, i feel that i can close my eyes, let my head lay down, and feel as if i can breathe a little easier.
things that have happened this week:
-i have been asked to meet the prime minister on sunday for coffee. not something that happens to me every day. i shall indeed be attending.
-r came back...mazal tav. my life feels worlds better now
-ran into joe last night. told him what he did to me. he lied through his teeth once again, asked if i would ever be with him again. i said 'not an ice cubes chance in thailand.' damage done to one's heart can never be undone.
-i was offered an offer i cannot refuse for work next year...teaching my favorite kids, more money, less work, more freedom, bonus, more respect, and my boss telling me he would do anything to keep me.
-friend had a beautiful baby boy...so so so beautiful
-realized that no matter what is happening with smiles and i, no matter where we are, i know how much he cares about me, and how much i care about him. i think living together is the best thing we could have done. he shows me more and more every day what a beautiful person he is.
-became aware of the fact that if i am sick of rice, that is ok. there is only so much rice that can be had.
and now i shall go have lunch with the other teachers, and teach my two final classes of the week, go home and sleep. it has been a surreal week. cathartic, difficult, loving, comforting, sensual, nostalgic, and everything in between. i know things are getting better.
things that have happened this week:
-i have been asked to meet the prime minister on sunday for coffee. not something that happens to me every day. i shall indeed be attending.
-r came back...mazal tav. my life feels worlds better now
-ran into joe last night. told him what he did to me. he lied through his teeth once again, asked if i would ever be with him again. i said 'not an ice cubes chance in thailand.' damage done to one's heart can never be undone.
-i was offered an offer i cannot refuse for work next year...teaching my favorite kids, more money, less work, more freedom, bonus, more respect, and my boss telling me he would do anything to keep me.
-friend had a beautiful baby boy...so so so beautiful
-realized that no matter what is happening with smiles and i, no matter where we are, i know how much he cares about me, and how much i care about him. i think living together is the best thing we could have done. he shows me more and more every day what a beautiful person he is.
-became aware of the fact that if i am sick of rice, that is ok. there is only so much rice that can be had.
and now i shall go have lunch with the other teachers, and teach my two final classes of the week, go home and sleep. it has been a surreal week. cathartic, difficult, loving, comforting, sensual, nostalgic, and everything in between. i know things are getting better.
posted by isobella at 11:26 AM
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